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CHOICES IN CHILDBIRTH

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ESSENTIAL CONVERSATIONS
FOR PREGNANCY, BIRTH AND BEYOND.

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USING YOUR VOICE

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DEBRA: When you're in labor,
you're your own best advocate.

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You know your body, you know your baby,

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and your voice needs
to be heard and honored.

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IT CAN BE HARD TO ASK YOUR
HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS QUESTIONS.

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LASHANDA: A good clinician
will answer your questions

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and make you feel supported,

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whether that's your OB, your midwife,
your doula or your lactation consultant.

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And if you're not walking away
feeling comfortable and supported

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in those answers, trust that.

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People just think
that they go to the doctor

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and the doctor is supposed
to know everything.

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But I've had this body for 45 years.

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I know my body and that's powerful,
and feel validated in that.

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And if you have a question
about something, it is okay.

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DEBRA: Yeah. So important.

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I've actually had clients come back
after asking some of these questions.

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And they said, "All my providers said,
don't worry about it."

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Inside, they knew that was really wrong.

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But, outwardly, they were conditioned
to say, "This is my doctor,

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and I should keep going forward."

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You should not ever walk out of
your visit with your healthcare provider

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and feel unsure, disempowered,

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doubting yourself.

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You should walk out feeling,
"Oh, I know what's going on.

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I know what the next step for me is.

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I'm so glad I went."

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Trust your body, trust your gut,
trust your instinct.

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PREPARING AND BUILDING CONFIDENCE
CAN HELP YOU ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.

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SUPPORT FROM A DOULA,
FRIEND OR FAMILY CAN HELP.

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TIKVAH: When I first meet with a client,
I'm constantly letting them know

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that, number one,

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I'm not there to talk for you.

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I'm there to enhance your voice.

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I'm not there to take over your voice.

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I always have my clients write at least
three questions to ask the doctors

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because, again,
I want them to get in the practice

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of being able to use their voice,

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because we're not going
to always be with them.

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TAYO: If we are teaching our families
to advocate for themselves,

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to be educated, to ask questions,
and to trust in themselves,

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they have to interact with a system
that's going to accept them.

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TIKVAH: I can recall when I had
a clinic visit with one of my clients,

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the doctor was ready to go out

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because she was trying to move
to go to the next client.

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I had asked my client, "Hey,
you got anything to ask the doctor?"

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She pulled out her sheet, she was like,
"Yeah, I wanted to know ..."

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-Nervous.
-Yeah, she started asking her.

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She turned around
and she did answer her.

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So you put that person in the spotlight
and you created space for her to grow.

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This is stuff that is going to come back
when they are parents:

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you have to do the same advocating
for yourself and for your child.

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KARIE: This speaks to the collaboration

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that's important
and that's full of support.

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So, when you go into a hospital setting,
you have this interdisciplinary team,

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you can advocate for yourself.

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If you don't feel like
you can advocate for yourself,

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then you have a doula
or you have a midwife that understands

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the importance of listening
and respecting your wishes

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and trying to make your experience

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as close to what you desire
as much as possible.

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HAVING SUPPORT CAN HELP
YOU USE YOUR VOICE

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AND MAKE HARD DECISIONS.

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TIA: One of the things
for sure, as doulas,

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however, wherever you want to birth,

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we got you.

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In the hospital with an epidural,
we have you.

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The moment of birth was surreal.

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I think that one of the highlights
was that baby monitor on my stomach,

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they were having trouble monitoring him.

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I remember telling you, Tia,
at that point,

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I worry that they're going to try
to do a C-section.

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You told me

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because the external monitor keeps
going off and they keep having trouble,

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they're going to want
to put a monitor inside.

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And so, I was like,
"We should do this other thing."

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Yeah, then I was like, "Well, you guys
haven't even asked me to sit up."

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Of course,
I would love to get more sleep.

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But, you know, if it's based off
of you're concerned about his safety

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and I can get sleep,

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or you're going to put this inside of me
and I potentially get an infection,

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I'll not get the sleep.

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And you sat right up
and then the monitor was fine.

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The monitor was fine right after that,
and everything was fine.

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And then we went into active labor
not too long after that.

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YOU CAN USE YOUR VOICE

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TO HELP YOU HAVE THE EXPERIENCE
YOU WANT AND STAY SAFE.

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TIKVAH: This mom I had worked with,
she had previously used a midwife.

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And I believe that it was
the midwife is no longer there.

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And she was used to delivering
on all fours, that's what she did.

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A lot of times in the hospital,
they put you on your back

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because it helps them
to be able to help you.

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She, on the other hand, she was saying,

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"No, I want to deliver on all fours.
That's what happened with my first baby.

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What do we need to do?

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Do I need to get into bed
and get on all fours?

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But I'm getting on all fours.
That's how I'm delivering my baby."

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She actually got up there

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and she turned around
and she put her hands like that,

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and she delivered.

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WANDY: That's good.

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It was uncomfortable,
but that young lady, she advocated.

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Yeah, that's what we have to do, Tikvah.
I mean, you know, as doulas,

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we have to make sure that they have
all of the information that they need

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to be able to feel empowered

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and be able to be that person and say,

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"Yes, this is what I want.

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Yes. This is the way
I want to give birth."

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NO ONE DECISION IS RIGHT FOR EVERYONE.

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YOUR DECISION JUST NEEDS
TO BE RIGHT FOR YOU.

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ASHLEY: How are you feeling about
your relationship with your provider

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and your ability to speak up
for yourself?

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ALEXANDRIA: It's going well.
I'm able to speak up for myself,

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and I feel like she listens.

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Excellent.

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And so, it can be kind of hard
in a hospital setting

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because you're surrounded
by all the experts, right?

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Don't lose sight of the fact
that you are the expert on you.

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Yes.

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None of these people know you
better than you know yourself.

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So, in that way,
you are one of the experts as well.

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Okay.

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I want you to feel confident
to ask the questions

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-to learn what you need to know.
-Okay.

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Please don't blindly accept anything
for face value,

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because we're part of the team, right?

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You are the central piece of the team.

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So, asking questions, giving yourself
space to think things through

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so you can make a decision
that's good for you.

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CHANEL: Ask yourself,
what do I want for me?

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And understand that it's okay
if it needs to change.

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If someone is hesitant
or they're acting condescending,

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they're not answering
questions to the fullest extent

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that you're satisfied with,

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know that you can always seek out
another provider,

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call a doula in your local area
where you can get those resources.

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And then look for advocacy tools.

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There are certain toolkits
that you can use,

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that are Know Your Rights Framework
in Birthing Experience,

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to really center you
within your birthing experience.

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Be gentle with yourself,
have grace with yourself,

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and understand that

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it may not necessarily go the way
in which you planned for it to go.

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But set aspirational goals,

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be fluid with your approach,
and you'll be fine.

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FOR MORE RESOURCES
AND SELF-ADVOCACY TOOLS,

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VISIT
EVERYMOTHERCOUNTS.ORG/CHOICESINCHILDBIRTH

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BROUGHT TO YOU BY
EVERY MOTHER COUNTS

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WITH SUPPORT BY
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